There is this need we all have to project that our lives are wonderful. All our relationships are glorious, all we eat is yummy and all we see is instagram worthy. It would be lazy to blame social media for this.Yes, social media makes it easier to project this but really, we all wear this shiny mask all the time. In real life as well, when we meet others, we project the awesomeness that our life is. It is unlikely that we share the mucky parts of our life.
I have a great family. I really do. But if I look at the family (extended one as well), I know that it is rather dysfunctional. When I was younger, this troubled me greatly. I felt that you could not let these stories of the family be known, as there is a great need to paint the picture of a perfect family. Else, there is something wrong with you and you would be asked to live in the margins of society. It gets all the more highlighted when you are an awkward adolescent desperately trying to fit in. Only later I realized that all families are dysfunctional. Everyone has their weird scandals and dark histories. So why does it become so important to project this image of being 'normal'?
Projecting a 'normal' life can be exhausting. Running into a loo, to wash your face to make it look like you haven't cried. Fighting with your friend with gritted teeth and fierce whispers so that nobody else knows. Laughing along with people when you are actually screaming inside.
Now, I am not asking for you to invite people over and give a them guided tour of these skeletons. But really, is it is so horrible to acknowledge that they exist? Just to be able to say, 'Hey, I am having a horrible day and I don't want to hang out'. Or letting people know that you just had a fight with your partner and need some time to cool off. Just simply acknowledging that not everything in your life is perfect at that moment. I find it super liberating to not have to put up a mask of normalcy. Worth a try, methinks.
I have a great family. I really do. But if I look at the family (extended one as well), I know that it is rather dysfunctional. When I was younger, this troubled me greatly. I felt that you could not let these stories of the family be known, as there is a great need to paint the picture of a perfect family. Else, there is something wrong with you and you would be asked to live in the margins of society. It gets all the more highlighted when you are an awkward adolescent desperately trying to fit in. Only later I realized that all families are dysfunctional. Everyone has their weird scandals and dark histories. So why does it become so important to project this image of being 'normal'?
Projecting a 'normal' life can be exhausting. Running into a loo, to wash your face to make it look like you haven't cried. Fighting with your friend with gritted teeth and fierce whispers so that nobody else knows. Laughing along with people when you are actually screaming inside.
Now, I am not asking for you to invite people over and give a them guided tour of these skeletons. But really, is it is so horrible to acknowledge that they exist? Just to be able to say, 'Hey, I am having a horrible day and I don't want to hang out'. Or letting people know that you just had a fight with your partner and need some time to cool off. Just simply acknowledging that not everything in your life is perfect at that moment. I find it super liberating to not have to put up a mask of normalcy. Worth a try, methinks.
