I don't want to forget

I don't want to forget.

I don't want to take pride in the 'spirit of Mumbai'. Or India for that matter.

I don't want to be 'strong and resilient'.

I don't want to listen to the blame game between the political parties.

I don't want Narendra Modi and BJP and all the fuckhead right wing people condemning the death of Hemant Karkare.

I don't care about the screwed up compensation packages.

I don't want to look at every single person on the road with suspicion.

I don't want to start saying mental goodbyes to my family everytime I step out of the house.

I don't want to freak out everytime I see a car jump a red light.

I don't want the media asking families of the deceased 'How are you feeling?'. WTF?

Enough. Enough. Enough.

1 bomb blast every month. The worst terror attack ever in India. Trauma and panic. Something the families and the hostages will never ever forget. Enough.

Bastards. Fuck you bastards. I am seething mad. So so so angry.

And terribly scared.

I don't want to forget.

http://sravanthid.blogspot.com/2007/08/independent-me.html

In the summer time...

Yes, I know that is a cheesy title.

Everywhere I look, there are kids enjoying their summer vacations. When I leave to work and I have to dodge 10 kids playing Lock-and-key (I don't remember how this was played. Can anyone refresh my memory?) it is as if they are rubbing it in my face. Two months of nothingness. I look at them and feel both jealous and sad.

Jealous because, I will never get two months of nothingness again for a long long long long time.

Sad because, even if I do, I don't think I can enjoy two months of nothingness anymore.

When did this need to 'fill my days' come in?

For two weeks straight, I came to work on time. Perfectly on time.

The one day I come late to work, everybody from the Director to the cleaning lady sees me entering sheepishly late.

The tragedy of my life I tell you!!!

Yes Manj, I am a drama queen. Live with it.

Live through. Overcome. Repeat.

Life!